1.  Excuse me guys, I gotta go do my “quiet time”.

2.  If I don’t come back from this…, well, you’ll know what to do.

3.  Yeah, I don’t get the Holy Spirit thing either.

4.  Oh my gosh, synagogue is boring.

5.  You think your Father is mean…

6.  You guys are really making me re-think my selection process.

7.  So when you heard “follow me”, you took it literally? Well this is now awkward…

8.  Did you just called me God? Whoa, careful there. Just a good moral teacher here.

9.  I thought about getting a MBA, but becoming a Messiah just sounded cooler.

10.  Yes! You have to pay me. What? You think I do this for free?!